Time

Herroh poop! I feel inclined to at least dedicate this first paragraph to you cuz you actually read this shit.

It's practically three days to As. Here I am typing away into my phone my stream of illogical consciousness. While eating corn.

Nearly ten full months have gone by this year and its been one of the most... Important years of my life. I mean, every year is important but I feel that I may have learned slightly more this year than I did the last.

Time isn't the most forgiving of teachers, nor most direct. Time doesn't erase the mistakes you made when you were younger. But it forces you to learn, by how it forces you to keep ploughing on and making you look back and analyse past mistakes when you trip again. And again.

Why this thought? I have for the most part of the year, been attached. As this relationship is currently on its hiatus, I have taken the time to reflect on what it has taught me.

I hope I have learned how not to worry. It doesn't take all of my concern to show someone I care, nor my endless fretting. Of course, I'm still working on it. Just an hour ago I lost my shit. But I'm getting better. I suppose I still care as much, but time has mellowed most of the emotional intensity. Distance too, has softened the edge.

I do apologise if it seems like I did learn this last year. I guess I need to actively pink elephant my worry. (Bam uncertainty woo). But yes, still learning when to care and to what degree.

I have also learned patience. I hope I have. I have stared at my phone, wishing for a quick response way too often in the past. I think my perpetual stare isn't as bad as it used to be. I've learned to shut up as a result, and listen.

Perhaps I haven't fully learned these (for sure duh). But hey, reminder to myself that patience is key, and worry is one of those things you get that kills you for free. I forced it to rhyme.

So yeah. Nothing too insightful or artsy or emotional this post. Just a filler about two lessons this year has had for me. There's probably a lot more (there is) but now's not the TIME OH SNAP U C WAT I DID DERE HURR DURR FULL SIKLE

posted from Bloggeroid

Farewells?

Its been like forever since I've written something for this blog. As usual, I'm doing this as I type out this post.

The name of this post should be telling enough for what the content is about. After leaving PJC a year early, I never really thought of the difference had I left it with the others. I'm almost certain I'd be a lot less happy, a lot more hungover sadness, a lot more angst-y, and even more clueless for life and As than I am now. But all of that aside, I guess I do long to be part of..

Something? Considering how it was never the class/school that achieved anything, but rather the work of a select few, perhaps my being there would have led to the same regret and possibly a lack of any sort of recognition or satisfaction.

Still, I am human enough to declare that I do wish I had a farewell, that I had a prom I could attend, a homeroom to go to, and even the small shitty tests you go through on a semi regular basis.

Aaaaand maybe I wouldn't be as broke :D


Transparent

Like a glass pane, I am set in my place
A berth given by others to not touch
Lest I fall and shatter, oh, such disgrace
Befall on you, should you budge me too much.

Past me lies a sordid truth, hidden by
A thousand other windows yet in stones
Refracting the light, to and from the sky
With edges rough, unrefined colour tones.

Seen through, keeping out all, while you keep warm
Protected from even the heaviest storm
posted from Bloggeroid

Something written on the 17th of October,2013

I live
Freezing
All in the name of pw
I stare.
Eyes burn.
All in the name of pw
I scream
Wind howling my name
All in the name of pw
I beg
Fingers trembling; hacking away
All in the name of pw
I collapse
Naked, trembling- over caffeinated
All in the name of pw
And finally
I slump.
The light flickers and fades
PW.
Painful.
Woes.
PW.

Another Late

Late is like life update. So. Hi. Some stuff. I actually was typing this two/ fourweeks ago, but well, never got round to it. I think its a time for change. I need to buy new shoes too lol. And I needa swap and update my playlist. Sigh. After mother tongue, gotta settle the shoes. Props to Potenshiul Chairs for the shoe date last year. So long ago, we struggled. Here I am again though, mother tongue and pw. I'm resigned to possibly retaining or taking mt next year or both. But I guess it'll be alright.

I can't remember what I was typing,but here's what's on my mimd now I guess. As usual. Stream of consciousness ftw.

Also, I hit my 2gb of data. Dayum.

The year has been pretty up and down, with multiple great and multiple horrible moments. Thank you, PDS, for the amazing memories that we've forged this year. For the company of weirdos that formed. Thank you, Skynet Command, for the odd days and constant conversation of the outside world. And a major ILY to all the cliques and bunches I've seen and talked to, friends made over the years. I've been growing, and still keep growing, and I'm ever frateful that you're all not douchebags who hate people unlike you.

Special mentions. Right. I meant these honestly, and sarcasm is to prove a point. Love y'all.

First up, Yvonne. For making me feel less high horsey, for your constant arguments and your bitchiness. As much as I don't like to argue with you over and over, it kept me alive despite life's drear. Kudos to you for causing and resolving conflicts and making my life that much more awesome. A mention here goes to Wayne too, for similar reasons, and the faith you put in me. For the good days in secondary school too. Thank you, the both of you.

Second goes to Eileen. Darling, you worry a bit too much at times. You're an amazing and amazingly lazy writer, but you've been a fantastic friend despite last December's shenanigans. Thank you for being an amazing uplift when things were going down, and injecting a healthy dose of cynicism when I was too high to care. Though I was. In hindsight, I'd probably hurt myself less. But yes, thank you.

Thirdly, Ilyas, Sean, Timothy, Alex. TheFinalSay. Thank you for sticking though another unproductive year, that we somehow stuck together. We gotta jam, nuff said. And that ep won't record itself. I say About Geography is a go, Valley, Katabatic, Vesuvius. Dayum. I look forward to more time in studios and bedrooms with you guys. Shout out to Abdicated Throne here too, for the fun sesh, and Thomas the Death Engine, cuz promotion.

Fourth, for the random people that I talk to, especially whem I'm done. I'm an attention seeking bastard, but thank you for listening to me whine and bitch. This can stack with other towers. Lol. Wait towers? Fuck I'm tired haha! I meant tiers. Lulzy.

Fifth, the dota/debate guys. Dan and myo and kean mun. For the great male advice given regarding life, the fucking amazing company. The cynicism and the realism. Thank you guys for being a fucktastic distraction and the amazing time wasted on not wasting it. Cheers, glhf don't feed and stick around.

Lastly, to you, my dear. Or ex-dear. Thank you, for the five months together. Thank you, for being a close friend, confidant, and for allowing me to be the same. Thank you for the little reminders why I should live. The sadness and worry was worth it to me. I only wish you all the best now, to find your own happiness. Whatever you are, I will still care for you. I still love you, but in the way a brother loves his sister. I'll only miss the memories, good and bad. Thank you, and take care of yourself. You're too harsh on you.

This took forever. Next update soon probably.

A Fantastic EoM

So I couldn't find the link to this on my phone. But here you go!

This article discusses the positive effects of rape such as stress relief and anger management.

Our project seeks to increase the access and choice of rape by implementing mandatory public exhibitions.
Being written by Professor Forcedboney of The Grand University of Fuck, published in 2013, it is very relevant and applicable to my project.

In his article, Forcedboney describes a prevalent problem in rape culture as many people begin to conform to liberal western cultures that raping women is a crime and thus, has harmed our muslim societies here in the middle east. Back then, our brotherhood, untouched by modern and sinful ideals, had the best tool of entertainment and socialization, Rape. In the back alleys of mecca, our forefathers were blissful and our offspring prospered, for the holy gifts that allah bestowed upon us were shared with all women and men alike. Forcedboney has also attributed declining birth rates to the punishment of rape and subsequent economic failure due to the reduced women exports, which he quotes Dr Moneykok as saying that “Infidel ideas make money less for nightclubs and prostitution rings, harming economy of Kazakhstan.”

Now we question how increasing the access and influencing the choice of raping through implementing mandatory public exhibitions will solve the abovementioned problems. The fact that traditional Islamic ideals are the way to go to saving our ailing population and economic needs, is supported by the thousands of years of research our prophet has done raping many many women, eventually scaring women worshippers from entering a mosque ever again, with muslim families breeding like rats in a sewer. With this increase in exportable goods, our GDP rose substantially. Seeing the need to monopolise on this economic growth, our great prophets introduced the greatest strategy of all, mandatory rape.

In order to improve the effectiveness of mandatory rape, my group aims to approach Dr Woffles Wu and provide free breast implants for every muslim community in our glorious empire. On top of solving our economical problems, we may also use these implants as disguises for improvised explosives so we can fully expand and capitalize on the westerners’ stupidity

______________
Lol. A quick disclaimer edit here. I don't approve of racism or sexism or any sort of bigotry, but hey, in the name of a cheap joke, why not? This is what it is, a really shabby attempt at humour. So humour me.

posted from Bloggeroid

Crimson Touch

Writing the poem I'll be using for the collab, methinks. Been writing sonnet-ish stuff recently, for the past few pieces. Hum haw. Hey yellowbutton, does this work?

Crimson Touch I

The crowd laid out before him screamed his name
Calling for another song to be sung
Like rockets they had climbed the charts to fame
Again they took the big stage, banners hung
Behind and the last show keeps going on
Dance steps move the six from stage left to right
To the sharp sound of cheers and chants they won
Rightfully from an audience bathed in light.

But backstage tells us another story
One not so sane, woven from sorrow
Constant touring took its toll and worry
Wrought, weighed down from time he had to borrow.
One more show before the force was too much
Soon he broke and gave them his crimson touch.

posted from Bloggeroid

cityscape II

cityscape II

unexpectedly, on the hottest night
I've felt this year, the winds start blowing in
cool, soothing, calming - coupled with streetlights
glowing yellow, clearing me of all sin.

I would step outside to embrace the rain
and, dance beneath onyx glittering skies
dissolve, absolve myself of heat and pain
but droplets came, heard were not happy sighs.

but deep groans as trees swayed and snapped. to ears
like mine they made me cower, moaning like
one who heard punishment coming since years
before, wrongs piled on my head, on a pike.

mistreat my friends and my own body, I die
on a cold bedsheet, tears forever lie.

~ Jack

So its raining again. Hooray! Lol, poem time. Long holidays suck. Yeap. That's about it. Cya, imaginary reader!

posted from Bloggeroid