The Land Of Dreams

Before I begin with whatever I'm typing below, let me apologize if my previous two were kinda shit. I had like, a goal in mind for both, but I deviated a fair bit from it. If I redo them, I'll just post again. Sorry for burning your eyes out again. Also, I edited the title format thingy for the older two (three?) and added the dates next to the title. Hope this will be a format I can live with.

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Well, this one is adapted from a series of songs which I wrote around two years ago, in sec 3. Its pretty much just me being all over-imaginative when I had this period of insomnia. So I did around a verse a night on average for about a fortnight and then stopped because it was rather repetitive and overly simplistic. However, its one of the longest semi-completed story-song arcs I've done, so I'm putting it in here after major editing and many many changes. Here goes the juice:

The Land Of Dreams (Part I to III) - 11.3.2013

Null – Float –

Between the sheets I lie
Staring at a ceiling, with sightless eyes
No light enters, no light leaves
The clock ticks away
As the night breathes
Its cold air, comforting, soothing
Down my body, caressing
Yet I still I lie, staring, waiting

Awake, again, another adventure
Delving, diving, unravelling
Reviewing, musing, wondering
What am I even doing?

Am I content with just lying here
Stuck in what has been said or done or left alone
With choice words I frame my thought-horse
And I ride, to the gates, to the gates.

It is my choice and my choice alone
That I am fooled as such
For who would have ever denied themselves
Salvation? 
I. - The City -

I cannot enter
The land of dreams
The gates are shut, locked, barred
By my own guards
Pictures play and shadows dance
On bleached walls
As the sun sets across the horizon
Locked out of my home
My domain, the only place for peace
In the ceaseless turmoil.

To scale the earthworks, impossible
For I built the fortress impregnable
With all my might, wealth and power
I established my hold over this land
This cold, barren wasteland
Between closed eyes and the wishful calling of sleep.

I grip tightly onto my consciousness
Not relinquishing thought for freedom
A sense of flying, illusions in reality
For what do I know except being earth bound?

I know how to dream, and how to finally break in
But only in rest can I act
And for now, I am trapped
I tire and long for sleep.

But it eludes me, elusive
Like holding water in bare hands
It comes for mere moments
And I welcome the black
Only to be broken by the orange- yellow glow of streetlamps below.

And so I groan and I turn
Tossing, flipping, rolling
And sought for safety from the night’s wind
Behind bone, concrete earthworks
I sought for sleep.

Dreams, elude me
Nightmares, live within me
My mind, their playground
And it was then I knew I had to move
Take action, find the key which I had lost
Or thrown away

I set off upon the land
With nothing but my wits and my mind, my hands
And a heart feeling ever so weakened
Dreading the present

I blame the guards for their failure
To see their king outside their door
But who could blame them for their faults
When they finally left the land of insomnia
Which I travel through once more.
 
II. - A Song For Sleep -

Endlessly, I paced the sands
Until all I saw were footprints
And every passing moment I grew wearier
Collapsing into a heap
Awake, or was I ever asleep?

Whispering to myself a lullaby
I huddle beneath the quilts, shuddering
Hugging my knees tightly, I fear for myself
Will I be late in the morrow?
Have I done what I needed to?

Wondering these lands once more
So familiar, yet not my home
With a comfort that lulls me deeper in
Into a rest that will not end
For it has not and will never begin.

My friend, the reaper
He strides alongside me
Greeting me with a familiarity akin to brothers

Yet this cannot be
For I have not seen my own death
Not out in these wastelands, at the very least.

But perhaps soon I shall
For I plot against myself
My own blood, sweat and tears
The results of years gone by
Enduring, living, breathing, human
My life, I shall erase.

I sing a song for sleep
Calling upon the rain to fall upon these dry wastes
Barren, devoid of life
Tears from the gods above
And those from between the eyes.

And as life grows, I swing my feet off the comfort of my bed
Once more, perhaps, I shall walk
Crutches supporting me, I hobble, I nearly fall
I enter the witch's cave
Fungus covering the floor, barefoot I tread
With the padding of socks on wood
Into the smells, musty, dry.
And of bread slowly baking from long past times
And a gas stove which does not work anymore

I pick up the bomb that shall remove
The barriers that keep me out
From my home, my throne
Sanctuary shall shelter only its lord
Me.

 
III. - Into The Day

The floods come, tearing the walls down
Rending, obliterating any structure
The torrent sweeps away all humanity
Except me, flying
Feet never touching the ground.

The bomb had worked, or at least
In excess and overkill
But its sheer sound and power
Radiated heat and energy pulsating like drum’s constant four-four beat
The clouds were unlocked

Bliss, bliss, bliss!
And out poured the rain
Fallout from the skies, scouring life once more
From the city’s walls and city’s halls
Perhaps that was how the wasteland formed
But it does not matter to me
For I have broken Insomnia's walls.

My city falls and I am beyond ecstatic
Maneuver between rubble and death
And cross streets chest deep in water
Blood, and tears.

I reach my palace at long last
Its spire still stands, monolithic
Even as the grounds lie now in ruin
Forever. I climb up the marble steps
Spiralling into the sky.

Step after step
Within its claustrophobic interior
Without light, nor wind
Step after step
I pound away at the ground
With feet encased in shoes I have long kept aside and hardly worn.

Hunger pains me
My lips crack, blood oozing
I begin to faint, to fade
And then I see the sun at the top
At long last I see its rays
And I collapse at the plateau
My last breath disappearing
Into the day.

 
IV. – The Morning After -

Waking up to a familiar feeling
The warm sun on my face, I see, I hear

Had I fallen asleep? Had I rested
At long last? After an infinite time
I sleep! I sleep! I broke the walls into
My own city! My salvation at the
Ingestion of a pill (maybe two). I smile at last.

But as I swing my legs off my bed I
Cannot help but feel that I was not there.
In my body, I felt that I was just
Floating alongside. I did not exist.

I ceased to be, the moment I realized
That I never slept at all, but rather
Merely dreamed I did. Displaced memories.
Was the journey for naught? Was I nothing?

I ache, because I know there must be an answer
To some question? Sleep? Purpose?
Whatever it is, death can wait.
So can life. So can sleep. But why?

And an endless cycle, run the wheel
Run the gauntlet, for I am not dead!
But I wish I was, or perhaps I wish I were just younger
Or older, but in either case,
I wish the cycle broke and I stopped running
Stop right in my tracks back and forth from the wastes I made
And the wastes I will make.

In the end, we fall back asleep, having
Done nothing but hurt, feel remorse only
After we go, after we are gone. Then
Shall the land of dreams remain upright, unbroken. Its
Perfection, its beauty conceived broken
By its maker. Humanity sleeps and
Calls for entry to its heaven. Who are
We but our own guards to deny entry?
Who are we but our own guards to sleep?

Cognition, recognition, composition
Elaboration upon many ideals I broke, brought
To the table at which I sat, broke my fast
Eyes bloodshot but still seeing
Still seeing
Seeing insomnia stand
Seeing another night go by

Who are we?

I think.

--Edit: Uploading the one I edited for and added to after Lit Symposium. The final part is the part which got changed, and Null was added.--