Sorry Ms Seah, if you ever read this. I really do love your class. It just so happens that I came to the realization that I wouldn't ever feel that this chapter of my life were to be closed if I didn't get it out of my system somehow before this term was over, and I realized that this might as well have been my last opportunity to say so. I <3 you all the way.
So, what did I post? This, under the teacher's feedback form:
...
However, I do have some things to say about the rest of the school. I don't think I do have any other appropriate feedback outlet, but let me comment a bit about how the school needs to stop caring for the school's image as a whole, and thus marginalizing the individual students' wellbeing and interests. I'll first apologize though, but hope someone could actually be bothered reading this.
Its quite stupid and unfair to have the first few hours I spend in this school after orientation to be essentially just the school showing what they expect of us from what our predecessors did, and forcing their expectations on us without any other reason than "you don't want to be the one to break this trend FOR PJC right?". Quite frankly, the students should already be self motivated to do their best, and that past analysis of results won't have much effects other than stressing students out. Sure, we have standards to meet, and teachers do push us, but these standards seemed to have fast forwarded a burn out effect on students. That's just one thing.
Secondly, some members of the staff have been rather elitist and condescending towards students and other educational institutions. While it is nice and all to be proud of your HOD status (I'm looking at you, my dear HOD of English), and on how being prim and proper is good, there is no need to openly sully the image of those with C5s and C6s in their English, nor shoot down those who go to polytechnics. Great that you're proud, so am I, but as a teacher, this doesn't reflect well on the school, your background, and the education system in general. Which isn't already the idealistic image you paint as it is. The beauty of straight As is marred by a generation of students who only know textbooks, and the only sort of social interaction they have are those with others in similar academic fields and on social networking sites. Or on the football field, which is probably a good and bad thing.
Finally, a bit of a personal grudge, I'll admit, but the transparency and accountability of the school's management is murky at best. I cite two examples, already excluding that of the WSC's team pulling out after which payment had been paid, since that is technically not my issue. Firstly, that of our debate team pulling out of AWSDCs, which was held in The Philippines. I was beyond seething when our chance to represent the school and ourselves in an international debate competition was pulled and rejected about a week before the actual competition. It wasn't just the sense of betrayal, but the fact that we were not going simply because we were 'not good enough' as justified by our VP. I'd firstly like to question why would the school, which has the budget, or at least appears to, if it hasn't actually spent it all on food for the management and wasting it on the office staff who do visibly nothing but pass snide remarks to students, pull out a chance for our learning to be broadened, beyond the classroom. Sure, it is a fair bit of expenditure. But by nature of the exclusivity of our debating club, and the fact that the budge has not changed, we deserve the best sort of exposure we could get, win or lose. If we didn't have the budget, I'd question why on one hand, and on the other, question why that wasn't the excuse given. Fine though, I'll just put it down to 'we haven't won, so we don't deserve it' for the rest of my life. Secondly, that of my CELP participation. I would firstly like to make it clear that I was under the assumption that firstly, the program would have been only four sessions long, spread over the course of the year till mid July, followed by a project till September or something to that degree. Secondly, I signed up under the premise that it would not clash with my other commitments such as CCA, and that if it did, I would be given priority to go for CCA. Finally, that there were no hidden costs to be borne, no contract signing me to having to potentially pay $20, $30 or just $430 if I were to leave. Well, all those were proven false, and needless to say, I felt cheated, to say the least, by the school. Well firstly, the program was way more than 4 sessions long. But I would have been okay with it, if it didn't clash with my CCA training and personal commitment. For one, how was this guaranteed when apparently the principal herself actually endorsed this program over any other sort of personal choice that we would have made? That was when the entire mess began, ruining my studies, sleep, stress and happiness at the very least, for three straight weeks. Beautiful, especially when at the end, you have this guilt-inducing plea that the school paid $430 or even more for this training. And that I would have to potentially pay should I try to quit. Not only will I not be compensated for those weeks of having to sort life out after the clashes in timing were mentioned, but I would be double penalized for a fee that I didn't know existed and was then my burden? Profanity would have been appropriate here, but this complaint/feedback is already 'demeaning' enough, so I'd rather not. I found it simply appalling though, that the school had resorted to something similar to blackmail and falsifying my duties and burdens and totally disrespecting any sort of life I apparently do not have. No apology, no words taken back, no counselling to tell me to stop feeling like I wasted three weeks of my life fighting for myself after being violated by the school's opaque bureaucracies. Absolutely beautiful PJC. Sure, its my fault I wanted to go for it. Perhaps though, sticking to your promises from the start was too hard, and that putting the blame on the student who knew no better, was the easiest option. I mean, the only options were to complain to the school who'd wave it down, and MOE, who'd just ask what had happened and nothing would result from that if PJC were just to say that they did mention it. I mean, sure, I'd sign up my entire year for something the school saw beneficial for its image and prestige, to be one of two schools having students in such a program.
Well, I'm done. I cut down a fair bit on the initiation and cancellation of CCAs already, to nearly nothing. And you probably didn't read all or even any of it. Whatever. It feels better out of my system. Sorry Ms Seah, that this is on your feedback form. Its entirely not your fault, as we both know, but whoever filtering this, please read this through. Thanks
Edit: Also, I apologize to the other teachers who I have sounded ranty to. You are all fantastic beings, teaching the next generation and stuff. Like really. I'm tired as I type this, and I'll parade your greatness another day. But thanks for not setting us all on fire and stuff. Yeap. No sarcasm from me, for once. Just sheer tiredness. And a great sense of relief, having finally pushed my mind's mess to its conclusion, and acting on impulses I've had for a whole god damned term. Hello GP paper, time to die :)
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